"All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die."
"I'm one of those regular weird people." -Janis Joplin
"Most chick singers say 'if you hurt me, I'll die'... I say, 'if you hurt me, I'll kick your ass.'" -Pat Benatar
This is a personal blog.
For my non-personal blog:
When I was younger, I said if I ever had a daughter, I would name her Phoenix, after the legendary bird from Greek mythology. Well, I don’t have a daughter, but I named my kitten that came into my life in 2010, Phoenix. It is said that the Phoenix bird is royalty, and that’s everything my cat was, she was a beautiful queen. In Christianity, the bird is associated with virginity, and I always felt my cat was a pure soul, an angel. It is also part of the myth, that the legendary bird never actually dies, it is always reborn. It usually dies from fire, and then it rises again from the ashes of its predecessor. My cat died this past monday on a really hot day, and call it a coincidence, but the next morning I buried her, and these people that came over to drop off some rental chairs to my mom for a family gathering also brought a newborn kitten with them with its umbilical cord still attached. They said they just found the kitten and it needed a home or else they were going to drop it off to the pound. They were bottle feeding it and had its kitty milk replacement and bottle cleaner with them. They told my mom, we notice you guys have cats outside and we were wondering if you could give it a home. My mom called me right away letting me know and we chose to help give this kitten a life. Life has a really funny way of working things out, my cat’s death reminded me that life goes on and as we lose souls, new life is also born and I should not be stuck being upset, I should celebrate life, remember my cat’s life, not her death, and keep giving as much love as I can.
I am so heartbroken right now, my Phoenix cat has passed away and left me with a pain so strong I can’t deal with. She was my fat baby girl, my son’s guardian angel, and the center of attention (next to Leo) in my home. I can’t understand why this happened and I don’t really want to, I just wish I could have her back in my bed next to me while I talked nonsense to her and she just sat there looking at me, letting me know I wasn’t crazy and that she loved me. Everynight it was an ongoing battle between me and her because she wanted to sleep next to my son and be all over him, his face, hugging him, purring on him, and I wanted her to get off him and not put her hairs all over him. This went on the entire night, all she wanted to do is be right on his face. Leonardo would tell me, “it’s because she loves me, Phoenix loves me alot.” And its true, that cat loved him so so so much. Everytime he got sick, she was right there, meowing at him, licking him, rubbing against him. Yesterday morning, my son woke up to go to school and he told me that he had a bad dream and he broke down crying. He said “I had a nightmare that Phoenix died.” He couldn’t get through the details because he was choked up. I let him know it was just a nightmare and that Phoenix was very well alive and loving him. Never would I have thought that on that very same day, that night my kitty’s life would end. And its just very weird how he dreamt that, but maybe its just the strong bond that they shared. The hardest thing was telling him the truth this morning.